Did you ever have friends over for dinner, enjoy a nice time, and then everyone goes home, except one couple? They enjoy your company so much (and your good wine) that they are just getting started with the evening when others are looking for their coats and their car keys. You politely hang in there, propping your eyes open with toothpicks, listening to their never-ending hilarious (to them) stories about themselves, silently praying to the gods for a power outage so you’ll have a reason to shoo them out of your living room. Not only do you want them to leave, your preference would be that you never invite them back again. Well, do you know who feels that way about you, that you’ve overstayed your welcome and it would be best if you never returned? The judges at MSPB. Yes, they conduct your little hearing and adjudicate your little case. But if it were up to them, you’d be smart enough to get rid of problem employees without having to do something that can be appealed to the Board. It’s not that they don’t like you or respect your role in government to hold employees accountable. It’s that they have a lot to do and you’re causing them more work when you fail to find an alternative to a formal removal. And that’s why I have to believe that the MSPB judges are thrilled to see that here at good old FELTG, we are offering a program the first week of November to teach you how to implement removal alternatives, to get rid of your problem employees without having to defend the agency in an appeal to the Board. So come to the party. Make a Board judge happy. Learn to take care of business, and then be done. Join us for Settlement Week October 31 through November 4 and never have to bother another Board judge again.
